


No Starting Over

by barelyprolific



Series: the buddie trilogy [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Confrontations, Happy Ending (I Promise), Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 14:08:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17163380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: A culmination.





	No Starting Over

Shannon says, _“I thought I could handle being the wife of a firefighter.”_

The days-long shifts, the worry about whether or not Eddie would survive a call, return to her safely. It's a hard life, Eddie knows. The statistics on successful marriages for firefighters aren't great. How can he blame her for finding it too stressful, particularly when Christopher is factored in.

Shannon says, _“I thought it couldn't be worse than being a soldier's wife.”_

Somehow, though, it is. Eddie is more distant now, when she can reach out and touch him, than he ever was overseas in Afghanistan. The lack of attention, of support, is even more frustrating when the gap between Shannon and her husband is a few inches in a bed, but miles in emotion.

Shannon says, _“I'm sorry, Eddie. This isn't working.”_

Her bags are already packed when he gets home from a long shift one day. Carla, she tells him, has taken Christopher out for the evening, and will be staying with him for the night. They both thought Eddie would probably want to be alone.

Shannon says, _“I don't blame you.”_

She's lying.

When Buck opens the door, he doesn't say anything at all. His eyes do all the talking for him, asking questions Eddie doesn't want to answer.

Eddie says, “Shannon's gone.” No reaction from Buck, except for the tightening of his hand on the doorknob.

Eddie says, “I didn't want to be alone.”

For a long, long few seconds, Eddie thinks Buck is going to slam the door in his face. His jaw clenches, works, a vein in his throat twitching. He licks his lips when he finally opens that red mouth of his... And says nothing, simply stepping aside.

There isn't much talking after that, until Eddie is buried inside of him, Buck's fingers digging into Eddie's shoulder blades, knees gripping Eddie's hips. His throat is exposed, head tilted back, eyes squeezed shut.

“Fuckin' beautiful,” Eddie murmurs, causing out-of-focus blue eyes to blink up at him, color nearly swamped out by how blown Buck's pupils are. Eddie nudges his hips forward a little more. “ _Est_ _á_ _apretado._ ” How is Buck still so tight? He knows there have been other guys. At least one. But it's like sinking into Buck for the first time all over again.

“Eddie,” Buck chokes out, hands sliding up to grab at Eddie's hair, jerking him down to mash their mouths together. It's not sexy, teeth and lips clashing together more than anything else. Eddie has to take over, calm Buck down with a slide of his tongue, not quite gentle as he eases it into something closer to an actual kiss. As soon as he does, Buck is moaning, whining, hips rocking up and fingers scrambling at Eddie's shoulders again, ankles in the small of Eddie's back when his legs lock around him.

It's a slow pace, their bodies rocking together. So different from the first time that Eddie wants to start biting at Buck's throat just to cope. After a few minutes of harsh, mingled breathing, lips barely touching, he can't stand it anymore and does. Buck moans out his name again as soon as Eddie's teeth find sweat-soaked skin.

It seems to go on forever. When Eddie finally comes, seconds after Buck as spilled between them, it almost seems like a bubble has burst, and reality comes rushing in with the slowing of his pulse.

As Eddie lies there, wondering what to do next, what to say, he feels Buck start to shift, pull away from him. Opening one lazy eye, he watches the younger man sit, then stand, up.

“If I shower, will that give you enough time to get out?” Buck isn't looking at him, grabs his boxers off the floor. Eddie props himself up on his elbows, watching him.

“I don't have to leave.”

Buck pauses. Slowly turns, eyes narrowed, sweeps his gaze over Eddie. “Are you going to want to fuck me again?”

There's a sour taste in his mouth. Eddie forces himself to shrug. “That's not the only reason to stay.”

“First time you've been over since last October,” Buck says, pulling his sweats on over his boxers, no care for the cum drying on his stomach. “First time you've seen my new place, and the first thing you do is—”

“I'm sorry.” Eddie cuts him off before Buck can work himself up too bad. “Buck, I'm _sorry_.”

“Sorry for which part?”

“All of it.”

Buck's mouth is an angry slash across his face, emphasized by heavy brows. He rolls his eyes, turns away.

The bathroom door slams behind him.

Eddie thinks about getting up and leaving. That's what Buck expects, though, and Eddie knows if he walks out now he'll lose Buck for good.

Knows he'll deserve it.

Instead, he gets his jeans back on, wipes his stomach with Buck's t-shirt. Heads down the hall to the kitchen to track down two cups and a box of tea.

The kettle is just whistling when Buck leaves the bathroom, one towel slung low around his hips, the other ruffling through his short hair. He pauses, arms up, when he sees Eddie standing in his kitchen.

Eddie wants him again. Wants to drag his tongue over the purpling bruise on Buck's throat. He clears his own. “Just a little honey, right?”

Buck recovers at the question, enough to drag a hand over his face.

“Don't do this to me, Eddie. It isn't fair.”

His voice is rough, cracks. One of his hands clenches at the knot holding his towel up. A drop of water is slipping down is chest, and Eddie feels like there's a chasm between them he could jump if he just found the right angle.

“At least talk to me.”

“Talk to you.” Disbelief has Buck huffing out a laugh. “ _Talk_ to you.”

Eddie's chin juts out. “I'm here, aren't I?”

“I don't think I'm the one that needs to start talking,” Buck throws back, shoulders straightening, and, yeah.

Eddie knows he's got a point.

“Okay, then.” He nods. “Just a little honey, _right_?"

Buck deflates. “Right.” He glances down at himself. “Let me put pants on.”

 

On the couch, Buck keeps a careful distance, legs tucked under him, hands curled around his mug like the warmth of it gives him strength.

Eddie waits until he's swallowing the cold dregs of his tea to speak. “You scare the living shit out of me.” Buck snorts, but he doesn't interrupt, so Eddie continues. “I'm serious. I...” How does he begin to explain? “I never pictured myself settling down with a guy, before you.”

“Funny way of showing it.”

“I had a lot of things to consider—”

“Oh, that's such bullshit.” Buck sits up slightly, sets his cup down on the coffee table. “You know I would do anything for you and Christopher, you know I love that kid—”

“And if we broke up? And Christopher was attached? His mother comes in and out of his life at random, he doesn't need to lose another parental figure.”

“My love for Christopher has nothing to do with _you_.” Eddie thinks, for a crazy second, that Buck might punch him. “I would never abandon him. I'd only stay away if you made me.”

There's an accusation there that Eddie doesn't want to face. He looks away, and Buck snorts again.

“So maybe I was afraid that it'd hurt me too much if you left one day.”

“Your fear doesn't give you the right to be an asshole.” Buck pauses, and then adds with more of a pout, “Besides, I think it's obvious that I'm no good at walking away from something.”

Eddie's face goes soft. “You deserve a lot more than what you put up with, Buck.”

“Tell yourself that.” Buck flashes him a smile, just a hint of his old charm. It fades almost instantly. “You know, you put me through hell.”

“I'm sorry that I hurt you.”

There's a stretch of time where Buck doesn't say anything. His jaw works, he's clearly thinking, but Eddie doesn't know what, if it's good or bad. It's nervewracking.

Finally, he speaks. “Can you really see yourself settling down with me?”

Just like that, Eddie thinks, a little dizzy. Just like that Buck is willing to move on. Eddie nods slowly, not sure how to stop groveling. Best to just keep his mouth shut.

“Like, house, dog, you, me, and Christopher?”

“Some day.”

Buck licks his lips. Eyes Eddie speculatively. “And right now?”

Eddie shrugs. “Could take you to dinner.”

“Like a date?” Buck looks delighted. “You askin' me out?”

“You gonna be a brat about it?”

“No.” Buck shakes his head. “Just want to make sure I know what's going on this time.”

Eddie wants to apologize again. It's on the tip of his tongue. Instead he reaches out, taps his fingers along the inseam of Buck's sweats, over his thigh. “It's a date.”

“Well then yeah.” Buck grins a little, “It's a date.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> _El fin._


End file.
